It was less than a year ago that failure became a good word.
What Failure is
Failure isn't losing.
I realized this when I first started sales 9 months ago. Failure is something else, and I wasn't able to put it until words until today.
"Failure is feedback."
This simple statement changed everything for me.
Goals and My Emotions
Every month I have a number to reach - my quota.
This number used to torment me. Every month I would hustle and burn out to try and reach it. This wasn't the answer. I shouldn't try to find happiness by winning. It's impossible to live a joyful life if wins are infrequent.
If a lead rejected me on the phone, I used to see it as a sign that I wasn't good enough. I would feel deflated. But now, I see failure as an inevitable occurrence. My feeling attached to this event is secondary. It is naïve to assume bad things won't happen.
It is destructive to have a strong feeling about something that is inevitable.
I see now that failure is feedback. A lead rejecting me is a signal that the lead wasn't a good fit for the product or I fumbled my words that one time. A variety of variables are at play. You are not in control. Relinquish your control because you never had control in the first place. Control is a construct we build for ourselves to make us feel good. This is a false feeling. True soundness of mind and emotion comes from realizing the truth.
Failure's Power Comes From You
You give power to failure when you name it. Instead, name the occurrences for what they are and stop labeling events as a "success" or "failure". You'll live a life of misery if you keep doing this.
Instead, see all information as data for getting you to a destination. Some events will always be outside of your control, but you can always bounce back. Position yourself to win, but don't worry about doing it now.
Where do you want to end up?